Sunday, August 15, 2010

Is This Thing On?

Having not written in months, I sit here somewhat shy and tentative. There are changes afoot. Great changes.

I am poised to reenter the working world, five and a half years after leaving to raise my daughter. I had my first legal job at age 15, a job I kept for three years. I moved out of my mother's house at 17 and had been supporting myself ever since. The transition from working, independent woman to stay-at-home-mom was not a smooth one. I don't think I ever really adjusted to it. I'm not very good at letting others "take care of me." My partner is an unsung saint.

On Friday I had my first "official" interview in 16 years. It felt huge. I walked out excited and slightly manic, bristling with energy that felt almost electric. I am excited and also fearful, that after so many years, I have gotten out of the habit of daily work, but also eager to feel like I am making an impact in the world.

Here I am, intending to write about something else and this topic snakes its way in, while I have no time to really explore it and so much more to ruminate and write on. So I set it aside, for an unnamed later date, that hopefully I will be able to revisit and explore more thoroughly.

“When you're 50 you start thinking about things you haven't thought about before. I used to think getting old was about vanity -- but actually it's about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial.” ~ Joyce Carol Oates

This quote was passed on by my friend Sylvia and it resonates for me today. While I am not yet 50, it rings true on the eve of 45 just as much.

Today I am going to a memorial for an amazing man who lost a battle to cancer. Another friend battles leukemia nearby. My sister has just had surgery with unforeseen complications in another state and I feel helpless here. I am recovering from pneumonia and the weeks I have been ill and the slow recuperation have only succeeded in mirroring my own mortality.

Our bodies are one-use-only units. Life is precious and we take it for granted.

In forty minutes I leave for Tomales and the memorial. A shower beckons. More soon...I hope.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I Found A Stick!

Mojo took the Minion to see The Princess and the Frog for the fourth time yesterday. Most little girls identify with the heroines of these movies. But my kid? Has been going around all day pretending to be Louis, the jazz trumpeting alligator.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010


If Candlemas Day is clear and bright
winter will have another bite.
If Candlemas Day brings cloud and rain,
winter is gone and will not come again.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

New Photo

After almost four years, I realized it was time for a new profile photo. This was taken last night with the fabulous Hipstamatic for iPhone.