I Fell Off the World

I fell off the world for a couple of days. I know there are a few messages on my cell phone, but I haven't actually listened to them yet. I will tonight. I'm just not in the proper state right now. I'm sorry.

In good news, the tooth on the right *finally* broke through. The bad news was that it was a horrendous struggle that left us both battered and exhausted. Bit was so miserable and inconsolable. She would play for a while, then proceed to just fuss and throw herself around. This resulted in a bloody nose at one point in the afternoon.

Oh, it's the most painful thing to watch: the silent scream of the baby in pain. Her mouth opens, her eyes squeeze shut and her face slowly reddens. You can visibly see the shriek building from her toes, her body almost expanding as it works its way to the opening.

After I assessed that her nose wasn't broken and we probably didn't need to go to the emergency room, I cleaned her up and grabbed the bag of frozen corn to put on her nose. She, of course, instantly stuck it in her mouth. I eventually gave up trying to get anything on her nose and let her suck on the corn for about an hour until we both fell asleep exhausted. Oh, and I broke down in there too, after the point I knew the baby was, indeed, not permanently damaged. There is nothing more terrifying than watching your child bleed.

We woke in a pile of defrosted soggy corn and potato chips. It wasn't pretty.

I'm broken. I felt sure that this week I was going to get so much accomplished while Mojo was away on the AIDS/Lifecycle ride, but no luck. Oh, I managed to vacuum today and change the cover on the sofa, but other than that, nothing. I realized at lunch that I didn't even *eat* anything yesterday (other than an english muffin at breakfast and the potato chips for medicinal purposes).

I'm not even sure how exactly to safely take a shower since Bit has figured out, quite successfully, how to climb out of her Pack-N-Play. She hangs onto the top and walks her feet up the net side, then just flips over the rail.

My mother's curse has come true. I have a daughter who is just as much of a daredevil as I am.

She also took on unassisted step today, enroute from the recliner to the sofa. It was steady and true and done without any hesitation. I don't even think she realized she did it.

In Mojo's absence, I am realizing that things have got to change around here. I can't do this all by myself. I need help. I need time off. I need a life away from this house. I need sleep.

But mostly, right now, I need a shower.