Frankly, I'm just too damn busy and too tired to bother typing this out in an amusing narrative format. Instead, I give you the text of a recent IM with the Mojo Man:
me: There is an old wives tale that says "Babies do not poop when immersed in water."
mojo: *laughs* Is it true?
me: I'm a-wanting to find that old wife and punch her right in the nose.
me: Wanna hear the funny part?
me: I was in the bath with her.
mojo: *chuckles* It's funny because it's funny.
me: Poop floats.
mojo: Only if you aren't getting fiber
me: She must need more fiber in her diet then.
You should have seen me fly out of that bathtub.
There was a brief moment of..."Honey, did you poop?"
I looked behind for bubbles and there was nothing. All of a sudden she uttered a big relaxed sigh and POP right to the surface.
mojo: Like a half-eaten surfer
me: Ha ha ha ha...evil man. You are my delight.
After I jumped out of the tub I pulled her out and put her naked and wet on the bathmat.
Do you remember when we last laundered the bathmat?
Neither do I.
mojo: I imagine it will be getting washed soon.
me: She crawled across the bathroom while I attempted to drain the tub and catch the poop which was eluding me.
I had to get Monkey Boi to help.
He was not amused.
Then I had to wash all the hair and dust off the baby. From crawling on the floor.
And wash the tub.
Monkey Boi is in the shower now.
Probably wearing flip flops.